Welcome to the Hebrew mo(o)nth of Av! A month of deep contrasts and of the fullness of being alive.
The first half of the month of Av continues the theme of grief and mourning from the previous month of Tammuz, but now it’s upping the intensity and asking us to dive deep down to the bottom of the well of our sorrows.
The second half of the month of Av calls us into expression of joy and love, inviting us to remember all that lights us up in our relationships with ourselves, with our community, and with the universe.
Is this experience a roller coaster of feelings, tossing us around from low to high? Or is what appears to be a contrast of opposites actually two sides of the same emotional coin showing us what it means to be alive and what it means to be in true relationship with the world.
The fact is that when we relate, whether that be to ourselves or to another, we create the possibility of love. And as that relationship deepens, as that love grows, the fact that it will one day be lost creates the certainty of future grief. Knowing that everything in life is impermanent guarantees that where there is love there will be grief.
But the month of Av shows us that the direction is reversible as well. Where there has been deep sorrow and mourning, there will be great love. And our capacity for grief mirrors our capacity for love.
Everything moves in cycles. Everything transforms.
How does your capacity for grief reinforce your capacity for love?
How do you relate to your body through these emotions of grief and love?
The grief, the frustration, the confusion that I felt when my hormones hit rock bottom was certainly a free fall on the roller coaster ride of my emotions.
I had done all the things I was “supposed” to do. I had followed all of the advice for how to “be healthy.” And yet, my menstrual cycle had stopped. My brain was strung out on stress hormones. My physical body was pretty much on the verge of collapse. Despite how great I may have looked on the outside, I felt broken. I felt helpless. Despair. And a deeper part of me sensed the truth that my body was far out of balance.
And that truth was hard to hear given that I had been chasing what I thought was “health” for a decade. In fact, that truth took a while to seep in all the way. But slowly, over many months, I felt this truth more and more strongly, and the grief that it revealed grew and grew within me. But that grief motivated me: I needed to support my body in a different way.
I had dug myself into a hole of extremes and the only way out was LOVE.
Learning to love my body regardless of its hormone status. Regardless of how much energy I had – or didn’t have. Regardless of my fertility and whether or not I could have a baby. Loving (and trusting) my body’s deep wisdom to always be guiding me back to balance.
And this didn’t happen overnight. And it’s still a practice I keep returning to. But this grief over my broken body turned into love for my body. And the transformation of that belief within me created space for my physical body to shift.
And so I see a gift in this invitation from the month of Av: to allow our expressed grief to become love. To be curious about where that love might lead us. And the overarching theme of that invitation is fullness – to be present with the fullness of ourselves, whether we are currently in a season of grief or of love or, more likely, of both at once, perhaps in one big messy spiral.
My story of transformation from grief to love and towards balance in my body is not unique.
The capacity for our bodies to shift, to heal, to transform is truly incredible. Through my training, the number of stories I have heard about women reconnecting with themselves and their bodies and their fertility is inspiring.
Positive changes in our fertility naturally flow through simple shifts in how we…
nourish ourselves with foods that support robust ovulation and hormone function
tend to ourselves through practices that prioritize the good kind of stressors and minimize those that overflow our stress bucket
synch up with the natural rhythms within our body through tracking our cycles and tuning in to the subtle cues our body gives us through our symptoms
root ourselves in core beliefs that serve our highest potential
As you flow through the emotions of the month of Av – through grief, through love – how do you feel your body and yourself changing?
What is revealed? What is shed? What is transformed?
When was a time in your life when all seemed broken… until it shifted, healed, transformed into vitality, love, celebration?
If you find yourself now in a season of sadness, despair, confusion when it comes to your body and your fertility… can you imagine your future self with vibrant fertility? Your future self pregnant? Your future self with your baby in your arms?
(Does this visualization come easily? Is it difficult? Can you get curious about why?)
Sure, there are no guarantees in life. Just because you eat a certain way or follow a certain self-care regime does not guarantee you will get pregnant and have a baby. BUT there is so much power in our internal belief system. Having the belief deep down in the core of your being that your body will heal and you will meet your baby really, truly can make a difference.
How does the invitation from the month of Av to move from grief into love inspire you to explore shifts in yourself?
Looking for guidance on your fertility journey?
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